The 5 easiest ways to have better orgasms – and why faking it CAN help

THERE'S no worse feeling than lying on your bed for what feels like hours waiting for that fireworks moment – only for it to never come.

Unfortunately, difficulty reaching orgasm is a common problem, and can affect straight women in particular, who enjoy the lowest amount of orgasms out of anyone.

Thankfully if it's a problem you have there are ways to help get your orgasm count up – and make them more explosive.

Speaking to Fabulous, relationship and sex expert Gemma Nice says: “For many women, reaching orgasm can be challenging due to stress, anxiety, medication, hormonal changes, and a lack of confidence.

“Stress triggers the body’s fight-or-flight response, reducing blood flow to the genitals and making climax more difficult.

“Medications, such as antidepressants, can also dull nerve endings, while hormonal fluctuations during menopause or postpartum can lead to vaginal dryness. Additionally, societal shame can create subconscious blocks to pleasure.

“Practising these tips helps to improve sex with a partner because you are learning to communicate better with each other and building up the courage to ask for what you desire.

“You start to know your body inside and out, what feels good and what doesn't, so this allows you to communicate easier and get more sexual satisfaction and gratification.

“You will be able to share your individual needs to each other and this allows you to keep the sexual communication going by actively listening to each other as you will both be invested.”

Here, Gemma reveals five reasons you might be struggling to orgasm alone or with a partner, and the steps you need to take to finish with fireworks…

1. Don't be a stranger

Many women struggle with reaching an explosive orgasm because they spend very little time discovering their own bodies.

Exploring your body alone can help break the barrier to finding out exactly what you like and can also lead to more enjoyable sex, both with and without a partner.

How to fix it: Create a relaxing atmosphere with candles and music, wear something that makes you feel confident, and explore your body without judgment.

Try using a mirror to see what areas respond best to touch and experiment with different sensations using your fingers or sex toys.

Familiarising yourself with what you enjoy will make orgasms more intense and effortless.

Pay attention to how different types of pressure, circular motions, and rhythms affect your pleasure, and use this knowledge to enhance your solo and partnered experiences.

2. Time out

The modern world tells us we need to be in a rush for everything, including sex.

This can often mean we aren't present in the moment and are unable to relax enough to finish off strong.

While the occasional quickie can be satisfying, there is a better way to reach peak pleasure that will leave you trembling.

How to fix it: Edging. The technique means bringing yourself close to orgasm and pulling back multiple times before climaxing.

By stopping just before the peak and restarting, you intensify sensations and prolong pleasure, allowing for an explosive finish when you finally let go.

For best results, incorporate deep breathing to stay connected to your body and explore different speeds and techniques to find what builds the most pleasure for you.

3. Hit the (right) spot

We are often told as women that we need to focus on clitoral stimulation to get an orgasm.

While it does work, women have consistently reported that vaginal and cervical orgasms are much more satisfying, even if it takes more work to get there.

This type of orgasm requires deep penetration which can sometimes be uncomfortable for women.

How to fix it: Positions like doggy style can help stimulate the cervix, but adequate lubrication and relaxation are key.

If cervical stimulation feels uncomfortable at first, go slow and focus on deep breathing to help your body adjust.

Over time, you may find that cervical pleasure creates a unique, deep-seated orgasm that spreads warmth and tingling sensations through your entire core.

4. Breathwork

Determination of whether you orgasm or not can start well before you even get into the bedroom.

A stressful day at work, lack of sleep or pressure can all put you off getting down and dirty.

How to fix it: Something as simple as breathing exercises can help get you in the mood and make sure you finish with a bang.

Start by lying down, contracting and releasing your pelvic floor muscles in rhythm with your breath.

This strengthens vaginal muscles and enhances pleasure.

Over time, this practice spreads arousal throughout your body, making orgasms more intense and deeply satisfying.

You can also experiment with slow, intentional breathing— inhale deeply through your nose, hold your breath for a few seconds, and then exhale slowly through your mouth.

5. Fake it 'til you make it

Sex is so much more than penetration, as we know, so adding other senses into the mix can be the key difference to achieve a happy ending.

We've often been told not to fake it, but keeping quiet could actually be making it harder to climax.

In fact, making noise before you hit orgasm can make it come about much easier – and your partner will love the nods of approval.

How to fix it: The throat and vulva share similar tissues, and vocalising during sex can stimulate the vagus nerve, helping the body relax into orgasm.

By breathing deeply, keeping your mouth open, and allowing natural moans to escape, you can enhance sensations and make climaxes more powerful.

Practising deep breathing and sound exercises outside the bedroom can help integrate this technique effortlessly.

If you’re not used to making noise during sex, try practicing in private—humming, sighing, or even simply exhaling with sound can help you become more comfortable expressing pleasure vocally.

Finally, OhMy!Gasm sex expert Gemma also adds the more we understand our bodies, the more fulfilling and empowering our experiences become.