STANDING at the window behind the safety of the curtain, Stace Don scanned the street anxiously.
“Who are you looking for Mummy?”; asked her daughter Kadie.
But Stace reassures her girl that nothing is wrong – how could she tell her she was terrified of her own father finding out where they lived?
After all, Stace's dad is not only Kadie’s grandfather but her biological father too.
Having been neglected by her parents, Stace, now 37, was taken into foster care as a baby where she lived an idyllic life in Stockport, believing her foster parents were her real mum and dad.
“One day, at the park, I’d met a strange man who claimed he was my father,”; she says.
The chance encounter was with her biological father Nigel Taylor, who had been keeping track of Stace for years.
The meeting shattered her happiness and she was later moved from her , away from the family she loved.
Upset and angry that she had been lied to, and confused about her own identity, Stace spent the remainder of her childhood flipping between different homes.
Stace, from Oldham, , says: “I had a wonderful childhood with my foster family, I had a new kit every birthday, I did Irish dancing and club.
“I was the youngest in the family and everyone made a fuss of me.
“After my biological father came forward, I was moved back to live with my biological mother, aged 10, who really didn’t want me there. Her boyfriend didn’t like me.”
Three years later, Stace was sent to live with her biological father.
“I was excited by the idea of being with my real dad; I thought it would be nice to spend time with him,”; Stace says.
“But he had a nasty temper. Instead of going to school, he set me lists of household chores. And if my cleaning and laundry wasn’t up to his standard, he hit me.
“He encouraged me to smoke too and to stay up late. But one day, he beat me so hard I couldn’t walk. In desperation, I called Mum and begged her to come and get me.
“More than anything, I longed to go back to my foster family. I missed them all so much. All through my childhood, I felt unloved.”;
Aged 17, Stace went to stay with her father in for .
“He told me he had a new partner and a baby on the way and had taken anger management classes,”; she says.
“At first, I wasn’t sure. Yet I wanted so much to believe him. Besides, I had nowhere else to go.”;
Taylor was living in , Essex, and Stace saved up for a return coach ticket.
“As I was unpacking, Dad asked for my return ticket,”; Stace remembers.
“I handed it over, thinking he wanted to keep it safe. Instead, he ripped it into shreds.
“I tried not to worry. But then Dad took my debit card, so I had no money.”;
New Year 2007 arrived and it was time for Stace to return to college in Manchester, but Taylor refused to let her leave.
“I wasn’t locked in, yet I felt trapped,”; she says.
“I tried calling home but Dad took my phone and smashed it.”;
I just kept telling myself that one day, life would improve. I clung onto what little hope I had
Stace Don
Over the next seven months, he sexually, physically, and mentally abused her, forcing her to behave in a ‘wifely’ role; cooking, cleaning, washing.
She recalls: “I was expected to cook and clean.
“In the evenings, Dad made me do army fitness routines. If I paused for a rest, he punched me in the stomach.
“And then, it got worse.
“On a drive one day, he sexually assaulted me. It became a regular pattern.
“He’d creep up on me, whilst I was at the sink, and kiss the back of my neck. I pleaded with him to stop. But every time I protested, he’d lose his temper.”;
Taylor also paraded Stace as his partner in pubs and in shops, and even viewed a show-home where he said they would live as a couple.
She was also expected to have sex with him and endure sickening levels of intimacy, including him watching her in the bath.
She says: “It was absolute hell. I was terrified of him, repulsed by him. I just kept telling myself that one day, life would improve. I clung onto what little hope I had.”;
Stace fell pregnant on the eve of her 18th birthday and, despite her loathing for her father, was determined to keep her baby.
She says: “When I got pregnant, it was a moment of absolute clarity for me.
“My father had bullied and abused me for so long, but now suddenly, I had someone relying on me – I had to stand up for my baby, even if I couldn’t stand up for myself.
“My baby was the start of my fight back – and despite the way she was conceived, I loved her so much.
“Fearing he’d get arrested, Nigel ordered me to tell everyone I’d got pregnant by a boyfriend I’d met at Southend Air Show.
“I moved back to Oldham to have my baby, but he made me promise I’d go back to him after the birth and live with him as a family.”;
Instead, Stace cut all contact with Taylor after her daughter Kadie was born in 2008.
Worried that Taylor would track her down, when Kadie was two, she reported him to the police.
She says: “I had always feared that Nigel would kill me if I spoke out. But I realised I had no choice.
“I went to the police and DNA tests proved he was Kadie’s father.”;
Nigel Taylor was jailed for seven years in April 2011 at Basildon Crown Court after admitting sexual activity with a child family member.
He was ordered to sign the sexual offenders’ register and to stay away from Stace and Kadie. A charge of rape was left to lie on file.
My father was a bogeyman all through my childhood
Stace Don
Stace says: “I had to tell Kadie the truth about her father when she was 12.
“It was a tough moment for us both, but I think it brought us closer together.”;
Stace now runs The Life of Stace Don, a blog and support group for other survivors of sexual abuse.
Kadie, aged 16, is at college and is fully supportive of her mother’s work.
Stace says: “My father was a bogeyman all through my childhood.
“I felt so isolated by the abuse and that is why I started the blog; to reach out to others. My supporters come from the UK, US, Australia, South Africa.
“I think it shows these issues are universal. I have had such sadness in my life, but please know that you will find peace if you look for it.”;
Stace has written a book about her life, My Girl, which was published in January.
Stace says: “My Girl is a book for my daughter, Kadie, but it is also for me, and for the little girl I never had chance to be.
“This is my chance to reach out to her, and to Kadie, with love.”;
