YOUR dog might be man’s best friend – but they could be your man’s worst enemy.
While we are busy pampering our pets, your love life could be in danger of going walkies.
Despite the cost-of-living crisis, we are lavishing our furry friends with expensive gifts. A third of us have thrown a birthday party for our pets, found a survey by DNA testing service Wisdom Panel.
But pouring could be at the expense of your relationships.
From bed blocking to bringing up your ex, psychotherapist Susie Masterson reveals the seven signs your pooch is putting you in the dog house.
Letting sleeping dogs lie
It might be nice to have your pup in bed with you but what is that doing to your sex life?
Logistical issues aside, this is not sending out a good message to your partner.
It’s saying you are not so important to me to have a space that’s just for you and me.
You are not prioritising them and it shows.
In couples therapy I often talk about life as a pizza and ask clients where is the slice is just for them.
If you are not careful, a third wheel in the bed can really disrupt crucial intimacy in a relationship.
Pedigree chump
A relationship is all about love languages and for some, that’s acts of service.
Perhaps your other half’s way of showing they care is by making you an evening meal.
If you are sitting at the table feeding their lovingly cooked steak to a hound, you might want to stop and have a think about how this may make your partner feel.
The underlying message here is you have ignored their signal of love and that gives you power over the relationship.
Just like that piece of meat you are dangling in front of your dog, be careful not to play with your spouse’s feelings.
Playing catch up
Communication is so important in a relationship and part of that is listening to what your partner has to say.
Often for couples, sitting on the sofa in the evening and catching up is the time to do this.
But if one of you is lavishing all their attention on the dog, the other is going to feel ignored.
In this situation, I’d be focusing my attention on the person who is fussing over their pet.
Firstly, I’d ask what is it they are scared to talk about with their partner.
They need to address whatever issue that is at play head on and stop hiding behind their dog.
Sneeze a crowd
You might love nuzzling into your fluffy pup but it’s not so appealing when it leaves you coughing and spluttering.
If your partner has an allergy to your pooch, then there might need to be some careful negotiating.
Moving in together is always a transition and there will always be bumps in the road.
It’s important you ask your partner what can you do to help them settle in.
Perhaps you compromise by having a dog-free room or your other half talks to the doctor about medicines they can take.
It’s all about constantly communicating your wants and needs.
An ‘it’s me or the dog’ ultimatum is never going to end well.
However, if they fail to let you know that a dog is a deal-breaker for them in advance, this could be a red flag.
Mucky puppies
Having a pet has its rewards and of course its downsides too.
One less favourable aspect of having a dog is they have no sense of – and why should they?
But the fluff, drool and little accidents can be more offensive to some than others.
Often complaining about things in a shared house being unclean comes from a deeper rooted issue.
Perhaps it’s anxiety or they have had health problems.
That said, if you care about your partner you should make concessions.
Perhaps take extra care to in the hall or give the sofa an extra hoover every now and then.
The ex owner
Most relationships come with baggage – it’s a fact of life.
But after lockdown more and more of us are breaking up and one of us gets the dog.
It’s not fair to deny your ex access to the puppy you both raised but it can cause friction with a new partner.
In these situations it’s important to install boundaries with pre-agreed pick up and drop off times and a regular schedule.
You can’t have an ex showing up whenever they please – especially if you suspect they want to see the owner more than the pooch.
In for a pound
Vet bills, toys, food and kennels when you need them, iti can be pricey raising a pooch.
And all these costs are rising too due to the cost of living crisis.
While no-one wants to give up their furry friend, the financial squeeze can put real pressure on a relationship.
Communication and organisation is key in these situations.
Regularly talk to your partner about your dog’s monthly outgoings and sit together and go through your finances.
You both may need to make sacrifices as not doing so can lead to resentment.
Susie Masterson is a BACP-accredited psychotherapist. You can reach her at www.ultraliving.uk.
