I’m flooded with incest cases too shocking to print…from brothers’ dark desires to mum’s sex with son, says Dear Deidre

THE hit show The White Lotus is no stranger to controversial plot lines – but its explicit incest story has sent some viewers over the edge.

For many, the unnatural sexual relationship between brothers Saxon and Lachlan is stomach-turning and unnecessarily sensationalist.

Yet, keeping it in the family, as it were, has been explored plenty of times before.

Incest plays a prominent role in the House of the Dragon, the HBO Game of Thrones spin-off, where most of the Targaryen protagonists marry each other.

There’s also Boardwalk Empire, in which Jimmy Darmody sleeps with his mother, Gillian.

And of course, the original Game of Thrones series, whose pilot episode featured twins, Jaime and Cersei, having sex – they go on to have three children between them.

Then there are the plot lines that don’t involve blood-related siblings but are still incestuous – those involving step-siblings and adopted siblings.

Cruel Intentions went there with the step-siblings back in 1999, and the TV series Dexter follows the murderous protagonist falling in love with his adoptive sister, Debra.

Of course, The White Lotus is a fictional story, but this taboo theme, while shocking, is not as far-fetched as many would like to believe.

While it’s almost impossible to know how prevalent incest is because people involved are often too ashamed, or scared of repercussions, to come forward, I know only too well from the dilemmas sent to me that incest is all too real.

While I would never describe the phenomenon as common, it does happen.

I get hundreds of messages each month, and in the five years since I have been Flying Eze’s Agony Aunt, we have received at most one or two messages a month where incest is a concern.

Just this week one woman wrote in with worries about her husband’s relationship with his newly discovered adult daughter.

While she admitted she felt jealous of this new woman, she also questioned whether the loving looks and touches added up to more than familial devotion.

She asked whether her husband and his daughter could be experiencing Genetic Sexual Attraction – where two biological relatives grow up apart, meet as adults and develop a sexual attraction.

A couple of months ago a different woman wrote in devastated because she had overheard her two grown-up sons joking about when they used to have sex as teens.

The bit that really upset her was hearing their regret that they couldn’t be intimate any longer.

As the mum of three boys, I found these stories deeply unsettling, but nothing could prepare me for when one particular mum wrote in asking for help.

Shocking confession

This woman described feeling wretched about her relationship with her son. He’d been kicked out by his wife, and her husband had recently died.

Her son moved back in with her and they supported each other, but things had gone too far.

One morning she was comforting her depressed son and the hugs turned sexual.

From then on, they started sleeping together regularly.

A couple of months ago a different woman wrote in devastated because she had overheard her two grown-up sons joking about when they used to have sex as teens

Dear Deirdre

She wrote in asking whether their relationship could be acceptable because “they weren’t hurting anyone and no one else knew”.

I had to explain they were breaking the law and that if anyone were to discover their secret they could be arrested.

Apart from the legalities, their wider family and friends would surely never accept their relationship and they would be outcast – not a healthy dynamic for either of them.

Another reader wrote about her brother-in-law and mother-in-law (mother and son) who were in a relationship.

While her husband was going to see his family, she did not want anything to do with them and it was causing huge problems in their marriage.

The brother-in-law and mother-in-law lived in France where, believe it or not, incest is legal.

Plenty of readers have written in asking for advice regarding a relationship with their cousin, and while many assume this would also be classed as incest, the reality is that in the UK, a relationship with a cousin is not considered incestuous.

So while many viewers consider The White Lotus outrageously fantastic, in my experience, real life truly is stranger than fiction.

If you are worried about anything, you can write to me and my team of counsellor on [email protected].