CHOOSING not to have kids due to money is a difficult decision – but that's exactly what one couple from Newcastle have decided to do.
Kristin Herman, 37, and her partner Oliver, 41, who earn around £55,000 a year, say having kids is more of a “luxury” due to the rising cost of childcare and pressure from growing household bills.
Their monthly earnings fluctuate due to Oliver's job being freelance and they have between £500 and £800 a month in disposable income, so it feels too tight to afford a child.
“Some months are tighter than others,” Kristin said.
“ and costs are the worst. Even with a good income it feels impossible to afford a home big enough for a family and not take on a massive mortgage.
“The idea that I should try to save for my own future and also provide for a child felt like a constant battle.”
Increasing unaffordability is the most cited reason for why say they're holding back on having children, with birth rates declining in the UK.
The latest research from the Child Poverty Action Group (CAPG) shows the cost of raising a to age 18 in 2024 was £260,000 for a couple and £290,000 for a single parent.
Costs of essentials like food, housing, and childcare have risen much faster than wages can keep up with.
For those who do decide to have children, the Centre for Economic and Business Research (CEBR) says parents will have to spend more than a third (38%) of their take-home pay just to be able to afford one child.
Kristin says: “If it were more affordable I might have thought about it more seriously. When I was younger I assumed I'd have kids one day. But just because that's what people do.
“As I got older I realised I didn't actually want that life. And the financial strain only made the decision easier and more obvious.
“We're comfortable now but adding a child would mean giving up a lot of the things that make us happy. “
Kristin, who works as a writer and editor for Academized.com, said she has seen her friends with children struggling financially.
“Many of them are basically working just to cover . And it's crazy. Some have had to leave jobs they loved because it just wasn't worth it financially.
“Others are stuck renting because there's no way to save for a house. It seems like there's never enough support. And they're constantly having to sacrifice something.”
The average cost of sending a child under the age of two to nursery in the UK is £157.68 a week part-time, or £7,569 a year.
Full-time it is £302.10 a week on average, or a whopping £14,501 a year.
And parents now are paying far more than previous generations for childcare.
According to the CEBR, the cost of childcare has risen by 78% since 2003 – much higher than the rate of .
Despite some judgement from others, Kristin says she feels “absolutely satisfied” she has made the right decision for her.
“It took time to be sure, but now it feels like the right choice,” she said.
She has received some “frustrating” negative comments, including people saying “you'll change your mind” or “you'll be lonely when you're older”.
However the couple's close friends and family have been supportive – “especially those who understand the pressure and cost of raising kids”.
“I don't feel like I'm missing anything. I have the space to enjoy life. I can focus on what matters to me and not constantly worry about money or responsibilities I didn't truly want,” she said.
For Kristin, the decision not to have children means she can focus on her career and .
“I'd love to travel more, invest in experiences. I also want to move somewhere quieter one day,” she said.
“I see my future life to be calm, meaningful. It's built around the things I love, not the one shaped by expectations.”
She also counts herself lucky that she and her partner felt the same way as their relationship would not have worked out otherwise.
But for others who had their hearts set on having children but feel it's financially out of reach, the decision can be heartbreaking.
“If things were different maybe more people wouldn’t feel like they had to choose between financial stability and having kids,” says Kristin.
“Right now though it feels like having kids is more of a luxury rather than a given. When I heard this ‘luxury' thing from my friends and family before, I didn't realise it. But now I do.”
