RUNNING her fingers through her hair while taking a shower, Malin Andersson discovered another bald patch on her scalp.
The reality star, who found fame on TV dating show , had been losing clumps of hair over the course of a year.
Unable to hide it any longer, felt that enough was enough and decided to go for the chop.
“I was trying to ignore it for a while and I was using coloured powder on my scalp,”; she explains.
“But it was just getting me down and I thought maybe it was a sign that if I remove this layer of hiding behind my hair, things might get better for me.
“I had such a rubbish year before and my adult life has been an emotional journey. So I thought, ‘It’s time for a change.’
“I felt that I would feel more empowered if I chopped it off, so I went for it.”;
Malin, who shares her daughter Xaya, three, with her , has endured a rollercoaster journey of grief since leaving Love Island in 2016.
passed away from cancer in November 2017 at the age of 65.
Then, in January 2019, she suffered the — named Consy in honour of her late mother — who was born seven weeks premature.
Ready for the chop
Malin, whose father Rune died of before she was a year old, became pregnant with Consy in May 2018 with her ex-partner,
In September 2020, that left Malin requiring hospital treatment for a broken hand.
For months, whenever Jared would have Xaya for the weekend, Malin would head out on drink and drug binges as she felt like she “couldn’t be alone”;.
But in January 2024, on a three-week stint in rehab in a bid to beat her demons and regain control of her life.
Now 32, Malin has fought through emotional pain and worked hard to get herself back on track as a single mother to her daughter.
“I think I was losing my hair due to the binges I was doing,”; she says.
“I think it was my body’s way of shedding the out of my system.
“I was scared, but ready for the chop. I just felt so liberated after, because it’s been years of hiding behind hair extensions and hair.
I knew I couldn’t keep repeating the same cycles of drink and drugs over and over again.
“I realised I just kept changing my appearance for men and not for me. Xaya’s dad liked blonde girls, so I dyed my hair blonde.
“I was just stepping away from who I really am for others, so it was a nice feeling for me.”;
Sadly, not everyone was supportive of brave new look.
“Trolls would say I looked like a man, or think I’d lost the plot, or that I was going through a midlife crisis”; she says.
“They also told me I looked like a lesbian or that I was having a ‘Britney Spears’ moment, but I ignored it.
“I knew I couldn’t keep repeating the same cycles of drink and drugs over and over again. Back then I constantly overworked my nervous system, only to end up in rehab because I was burning the candle at both ends. I’ve learned that I need to take care of myself to be the best mother I can be for my daughter.
“By doing the inner work for her, I’ve come out the other side and become a much more present person.
“Her dad is present, but it’s just me and her most of the time, so it’s important that I’m fully here for her.”;
Malin, who has now been sober for a year, dedicates time to her daughter and to becoming the strongest version of herself.
So much so that she has decided not to send Xaya to school, fearing it could negatively impact her and “mould her into something she’s not”;.
She explains: “You can protect your children to a certain extent, but I do fear her growing up in this social media world.
“That’s why I will be homeschooling her, because I just see school as a downward spiral.
“There are so many negative influences. I’ve seen family members who were once innocent get caught up in things at school that they’d never have done otherwise.
“Xaya is such a pure and innocent little girl. She’s got her own fire, she’s feisty, and I don’t want that to be bullied out of her, or for her to end up with insecurities like I have.
“I know I can’t protect her from everything, or smother her — which I would never do — but it’s about helping her keep as much of that fire as possible.
“I don’t want her to undo it all when she’s older, like me, who’s had to go backwards and do so much hard healing work to recover from what’s been done.”;
BABY BLUES
After feeling history was repeating itself with her failed relationship, Malin even began to question her sexuality.
“At one point I was like, ‘Bloody hell, so am I a lesbian?’”; she says.
“I couldn’t get my head around it. I was never made to feel safe by men and girls were trying to chat to me at the time.
“I was questioning myself and asking who was going to make me feel safe. But I realised I wasn’t in the right frame of mind.
“Now I just navigate life so differently. I’ve worked on myself a lot and I’m more present. Xaya’s dad can’t get to me any more.
“Back then I had s*** self-worth. But I learnt it’s about recognising what I deserve and if I don’t do that, then I’m going to repeat the same patterns until I figure it out.
“It took me a while to understand that. It’s just constant lessons until you’re like, ‘Oh, I get it now.’”; However, this hasn’t put Malin off men completely, as she is currently on the dating scene.
Now she is comfortable in her own skin, physically and mentally, Malin is on a quest to find the right one and expand her family.
“I do want to meet someone and have a child. I really want a boy,”; she says.
“I’ve been celibate for over a year. It doesn’t bother me. When you start to love yourself, you don’t seek it from other people.
“I find when you have sex with someone, you hold on to that person’s energy — whether that be bad or not. So until the right time is there, I will hold off.”;
I was scared, but ready for the chop. I just felt so liberated after, because it’s been years of hiding behind hair extensions and hair.
But for now, Malin is looking forward to whatever this year has in store for her.
She says: “Xaya and I are just living our life.
“At the end of the day, we look at the sky and she says hello to her sister Consy and grandma Consy and we have that moment together.
“Right now I am just being present and that’s all I want.”;
Despite loving her cropped locks, Malin says she is now ready to grow her hair back again — as it would be for the right reasons.
“I am comfortable with myself and won’t be hiding behind it,”; she explains.
“The short hair looks nice, but it is also a very powerful look that I don’t feel the need for any more.”;
