WHEN my 17-year-old son Harvey headed out with his friends, I never imagined I’d end up in a police station, being told his body had been discovered in a car crash.
Harvey had never shown any interest in — he hadn’t ever had a lesson — so it just wasn’t on my radar of things to worry about.
On that fateful night in 2023, I had no idea he was in a car being driven by his friends.
But what happened to Harvey can happen to any teenager — and we need to do more to protect our young people.
When I found out that our are much more relaxed than dozens of other countries, I was furious.
And I became determined to fight for changes that will protect our young people.
I genuinely believe that if, like in other countries, we banned new drivers or those under the age of 20 from carrying passengers then Harvey would still be alive.
The tragic deaths of three —, — in a collision with a bus near airport last month could also have been avoided.
A fundraiser to cover Star’s costs was posted online, where loved ones described her as having “a heart of gold”;. The family of Harley said in a statement they are “completely devastated”; by his passing.
I know just how they feel.
Our lives have been absolutely shattered by the loss of Harvey. It still feels like an out-of-body experience — that my boy can not be gone.
Grief hits again
His two little sisters, Sophia, six and Olivia, four, with a picture of Harvey next to their bed, and sob to me, saying they miss his cuddles.
Sometimes, they will pull out a colouring book and find a picture that Harvey helped them with and say they are sad that he’ll never be able to finish it with them — and the grief hits me like a ton of bricks all over again.
I know it sounds like a cliché, but Harvey really was the perfect son. He was never any trouble, he was a bit of an old soul.
He loved his and playing the guitar and had a passion for poetry.
Harvey was a real homebody, and loved coming on family days out with his little sisters — they adored him. He was so close to his big sister, Yasmin, 21, and stepdad Pete, too.
When he told me he wanted to go on a weekend trip with some friends to stay with one of their grandfathers in North , I eventually agreed.
Harvey told me one of the dads was going to drive them out there, and they would get the train back.
But what he didn’t mention was that after one night at the house, the boys had planned to go in Snowdonia and that one of them was going to drive.
I know he didn’t tell me because if he had, there was no way I would have let him go.
I was called into the police station and told that their car had gone off the road and ended up in a drainage ditch
He texted me the first day and sent some pictures, but on the second day, I sent him a that didn’t deliver.
I tried calling him, but there was no answer. My partner and his friends tried to convince me that he was just in Wales, with hardly any signal, but I had a niggling feeling something was wrong.
The next day, one of the other parents rang me to say they also couldn’t reach their son.
They revealed that another teenager had been driving them all to go camping. I flew into a complete panic.
The started searching for the boys, and I kept hoping against hope they would be OK.
But eventually, I was called into the police station and told that their car had gone off the road and ended up in a drainage ditch.
He had not been killed in the crash, but because the glass on modern is so tough, they had been unable to free themselves when it went in to the water.
Horrified
In the following weeks, I threw myself into campaigning for change. It’s the only thing that kept me going.
I was horrified to learn that one in five new drivers crashes within their first year of driving.
Young men aged 17 to 24 are four times more likely to be killed or seriously injured while driving compared to drivers over 25.
And the majority of people killed in road traffic deaths (76 per cent) are not the driver. If young people faced losing their licence if they were caught carrying passengers without an older adult present, it would undoubtedly save lives.
The Government says that the number of young people killed in crashes has decreased by 80 per cent since 1990, but that’s mostly because car safety has improved, not because there are fewer incidents.
There has also been a big drop in the number of young men who hold a – 54 per cent of men under 21 held a licence in 1990, it was 29 per cent in 2023.
The change I want might not be popular with young people to start with, but it would protect everybody. It would also bring down premiums for them.
I also want it to be law for every car to have to have an emergency hammer to break through toughened glass if you need to escape.
Changing the law in Harvey’s name is helping me handle grief
Changing the law in Harvey’s name is helping me handle grief.
Each day is a battle. I still haven’t collected Harvey’s ashes, it just feels too final. We moved house after he died.
It was so difficult to leave our family home, but it was just too hard to live there and see his bedroom every day knowing he would never be in it again.
I find it is helpful to have lots of photos of Harvey around, but I struggle if I see a picture of him that I haven’t seen before — it is just a reminder that I am never going to see him again, and the photos are all I have left.
I’ll do everything in my power to make sure that doesn’t happen to another family.
