IN his first speech as Labour leader, Keir Starmer said his party was “proud of being patriotic”;, adding: “We love this country as much as you do.”;
Before going on to lead the cruellest government in fifty years.
Still, putting aside the winter fuel debacle and the cuts to PIP benefits for one moment, on Sunday this very proud son of a toolmaker had a wide open goal — to praise the very infrastructure of this country and one of the most undervalued national assets in Britain: mothers.
He missed the goal. (His metaphoric ball is probably still up there knocking about with Harry Kane’s missed World Cup penalty against France).
Instead Sir Keir took to X to pay tribute to a different sector of society.
“As the holy month of Ramadan ends, I wish Muslims in the UK and across the world a blessed and joyful Eid-al-Fitr. Eid Mubarak!”;
Mums didn’t get a look-in. But then again, what would you expect from a party who has famously struggled to define a woman? For a party who thinks women can have penises and men cervixes.
Naturally people were furious, the Mumsnet chat forum went wild, and followers replied in their droves to Sir Keir: “Happy Mother’s Day too”;.
Not long after, a sweet family photo popped up on Keir’s Instagram feed, one paying tribute to his late mum, and his wife, Victoria.
One commentator replied: “Would you have cut your mum’s winter fuel allowance too?”;. (Bizarrely, Keir also posted the photo on LinkedIn — because harried mums love nothing more than browsing a networking employment website of a Sunday).
But the damage was done.
Christian tradition
The PM has one and a half million more followers on X than Instagram.
X, as everyone knows, is the political melting pot which politicians use to get their pertinent points across.
Sir Keir — or, perhaps, his floppy-haired team of Gen Z social media managers — felt pleasing the Muslim community was more important than paying tribute to the backbone of British society.
Mothering Sunday isn’t just a payday for Interflora — it’s a Christian tradition, held on the fourth Sunday of Lent, honouring the “mother church”;. And last time I checked, Britain is still a Christian country.
Meanwhile, reports over the weekend suggest the UK is in the midst of a fertility crisis — in 2020 half of Britain’s 30 year-old-women were childless for the first time ever.
Never have we needed mums more. (And I write this as someone without child).
Of course perhaps virtue-signalling Keir didn’t want to offend anyone who might be “triggered”; by a Mother’s Day post.
In which case, follow Catherine Middleton’s lead.
The mum of three posted a photo of a tree to her 17 million followers. So far, so not very maternal. But no.
With it came an inspired, original and hugely authentic message to Mother Nature — the natural world being something she has appreciated in her heroic battle against cancer.
King Charles and Camilla also paid their respects to the day. Not one of them mentioned Eid.
Of course we live in a tolerant, multi-national society and that’s a great thing.
This isn’t about knocking Muslims (who regularly face prejudice in this broken country); it’s about building up women, mothers. One half of our society.
Better luck next year, Keir.
HA, HA, VAR . . . 
FOOTBALL fans get a hard time – often by me.
So it was refreshing to see some proper, old-fashioned humour on display by Brighton fans over the weekend.
They pleadingly waved cash to the referee checking VAR for a penalty decision in their FA Cup quarter-final against Nottingham Forest, alas bribery didn’t swing the result their way.
As one wag quipped online: “Nice to see them donating to Forest fans for their Wembley trip.”;
Follow King's lead
WERE I to bother, I would absolutely, categorically be diagnosed with ADHD.
As would most of us in this day and age.
What I wouldn’t do is then get signed off sick for six months, and watch Netflix while my colleagues pick up the slack.
Yet this is what almost 17 million Brits are doing according to latest stats from the Department for Work and Pensions.
Almost 50 per cent of people say they suffer from mental health problems, and the number claiming benefits has risen by two million since the pandemic. Many of these are Gen Z.
It. Is. Pathetic.
Not only is this snowflakery giving a bad name to those who really DO suffer with mental health issues, it’s unfair to the rest of us paying for it.
King Charles, 76, is the other end of the scale: a man – one bravely battling cancer – so dedicated to his work, he was distraught at cancelling a couple of engagements last week after being admitted to hospital.
How despairing he must find all of this.
LOT OF HOT AIR
ANXIOUS times on Saturday night.
My colleague texted me with reports my pal Denise Welch had “vanished”; in a hot air balloon, last spotted hovering somewhere over northern France. Kent police, they claimed, were looking for her.
Obviously, I felt this was fake news and promptly texted Denise, taking the mick.
Except her phone went to single grey tick, and I didn’t get an immediate response.
Cue mild panic, imagining her found at the bottom of the Channel, with detectives going through her phone and finding my callous messages.
Anyway, happily, she eventually replied – I’d been the first to alert her – and she realised that she was the victim of an utterly bizarre prank, and was trending on X.
Denise was forced to clarify she was alive and well, and not on a balloon, as memes quickly went viral, with stars including Lady Gaga and Mariah Carey in on the gag.
What a world.
BRITAIN’S most expensive coffee has gone on sale – £265 for a cup.
Obviously the ludicrous gimmick is being flogged to morons and rich Russians in Mayfair, at a coffee shop called Shot.
Which anyone who buys this thing deserves to be.
Surviving in the wild? Doesn’t sound like my Dora the (not) explorer
VALERIE the miniature dachshund is an unlikely survivalist.
The black and tan three-year-old has been missing in the Australian wilderness for 500 days and nights, battling wedge-tailed eagles, possums and wallabies.
The pup escaped her distraught (human) parents’ clutches during a camping holiday in 2023.
Valerie has since been repeatedly sighted, looking fit and well – and hopes of an imminent reunion are on.
Now, knowing the breed as I do, this entire story baffles me.
My miniature dachshund, Dora, wouldn’t last four minutes in the wild.
Bred on a diet of tuna in olive oil (she won’t eat it in water), steaks, sea bass, slivers of Cheddar (grade four strength is her preference), buttered mince and gently heated packets of posh organic dog food Butternut Box, she considers herself the Grace Dent of the canine world.
As a puppy, she was fed on a raw food diet – supposedly good for them – and once, when I proffered Morrisons chicken breasts, she haughtily turned her back and genuinely wouldn’t eat until I replaced them with M&S ones.
This, it should also be pointed out, is a pooch who must be carried in the rain, wears an assortment of made-to-measure fleeces in winter, sleeps only in 500-count White Company bed linen (my bed) and basically won’t walk below or above temperatures of 15-23 degrees.
Much like her mother, a survivalist she is not.
Meme of the week
