NATATLIE Cassidy has revealed she's finally ‘forgiven herself' over a horrific family loss.
The EastEndersactress – who recently quit the long-running soap – opened up on her bereavement on the latest episode of her podcast.
Speaking on Life with Nat, the star revealed she tragically lost her mother when she was just a teenager.
Natalie, 41, explained: “I lost my mum when I was 19.
“It was a time where I was out and about, I've spoken about this on the pod before, but when you're a late teenager you're not really thinking about your mum unfortunately.
“And I lost her quite suddenly and I've carried a lot of guilt really about the fact that I wasn't there.
“I wasn't there for her and didn't spend the time I should have with her, but my brothers always say they were the same at that age and they got to come back because they were older.
“So I've kind of forgiven myself if you like, but the days for me don't get any easier, you just learn to live with it.”
Nat added she wishes she could ring her mum for important life events such as the birth of her children and meeting the ‘man of her dreams'.
Natalie finished by revealing her late mum would be in her eighties now and it would have been ‘lovely to have her round for Sunday lunch' on Mother's Day.
Evelyntragically died from bowel cancer aged just 63 in 2002.
Natalie previously revealed how her brother bought her a touching gift to remember her mum on her 30th birthday.
There's a plaque in her garden which is engraved with her mum's name and has flowers growing from it.
EastEnders stars who QUIT
MICHELLE Collins has seen her second EastEnders stint boost her bank balance. Yet what stars have quit this year?
Flying Eze exclusively reported how Michelle, 62, was down to £20,000 in her company accounts when she agreed to a shock back-from-the-dead return to Albert Square last year.
Her character, Cindy Beale, was presumed dead off-camera in 1998.
Yet what about the 2024 exits?
Earlier this summer, loyal soap fans appeared to note howStevie Mitchell had “quit” the long-running series.
It came after Alan Ford enjoyed just six-months on-screen.
Bobby Beale actor Clay Milner Russell also left this year after five years in Walford.
Fans alsofeared Martin Fowler actor James Bye would “quit out of boredom”over recent storylines.
Additionally, a host of stars havequit the BBC soap for Hollywoodfame.
One of the most successful stars to come from the BBC One soap is Rob Kazinsky.
He played Stacey Slater’s brother Sean Slater from 2006 to 2009, he has starred inHollywoodblockbusters Pacific Rim andCaptain Marvel.
Ben Hardy, who quit EastEnders as Bobby Beale almost a decade ago, went on to break Hollywood the following year, when he starred as Archangel inX-Men: Apocalypse.
Since then, he has played Roger Taylor in Queen biopicBohemian Rhapsody, and he starred inMichael Bay’s Netflix movie6 Underground.
Michelle Ryan played Zoe Slater until 2005.
She starred as the lead in short-lived American series Bionic Woman from 2007 to 2008.
