THERE'S no denying that having a baby is one of the most incredible things a woman can do, but Oti Mabuse is refreshingly open about how challenging it can be, too.
“For me, being a mum is honestly one of the most amazing experiences that I’ve ever been through. But it is hard,”; says the 34-year-old, who gave birth to her daughter, with husband Marius Lepure, 41, in November 2023.
It was made more difficult for the former Strictly Come Dancing professional, as her daughter – whose name they have opted to keep secret – was born 10 weeks early and spent six weeks in the neonatal intensive care unit (NICU), before coming home on Christmas Eve.
“The problem with pregnancy and childbirth is we don’t always know all the things that can go wrong. As amazing as the NHS is, there are certain things that just happen. I had a spontaneous birth and no one could have predicted it,”; says Oti, who grew up in Pretoria, South Africa.
She continues: “It was just a normal day – we were going for a check-up when my waters broke. It was the scariest feeling I’ve ever experienced.
“I was expecting to give birth in around two months and I still had a long way to go. I was in shock. I’m usually really good under pressure and I can stay calm, but I struggled.
Having her baby so much earlier than expected meant Oti hadn’t even got into her nesting stage of pregnancy.
“We literally had nothing,”; she says.
“So when we went to hospital, I was saying, ‘Marius, go get this and this!’ It was a beautiful surprise, but a scary one, too.”;
Parents of premature babies are known to be at higher risk of experiencing postnatal depression (PND), but Oti praises the NICU for constantly monitoring her mental health.
“For a long time, my brain was so concentrated on being there for [my daughter], and not feeling what I was feeling. I was very hormonal, too.
“I had to leave the hospital after two weeks, and I had a meltdown and was crying. I just wanted to be with her. I’d cry at little things.
“We have PND in my family, so I am aware of what it looks like and I know how difficult it is when you can’t explain what is happening to your body. It’s a big struggle.
“But in the NICU, we had a therapist for all the mothers. She talked to us about our babies, but also about the things we were struggling with. I felt so supported and I wish every woman could get to have that.”;
Sixteen months on, does Oti feel more settled into motherhood now?
“No, I don’t feel I’ve settled at all!”; she laughs.
“She’s always changing – at the moment, we just want to try and get her to sleep through the night. And for the first time in what feels like forever, she did it. I didn’t know what to do with myself, as I actually had sleep.
For me, being a mum is honestly one of the most amazing experiences that I’ve ever been through. But it is hard
Oti Mabuse
“I don’t feel like I will ever be settled. I don’t feel like I want to be – she keeps me very much on my toes. I love motherhood, but it’s ever-changing.
“This is my second Mother’s Day – the first where she is aware of it. I left a note on my husband’s side of the bed reminding him to plan something!”;
Like many new mums, Oti also admits she has struggled to find her identity.
“I feel this all the time,”; she confesses. “Not only do I get lost in being a mum, but I’m also the chef, cleaner and wife. . . You want to be good at all these things. Last week the house wasn’t clean, and I thought, ‘I’m such a mess, why?!’
“When something’s not perfect, I always just feel like I’m really bad at everything else.
“But I’m trying to get on top of it and schedule me-time to go to the gym or get a facial and have some time for myself.
“Finding those me-times is really difficult, because you start to feel guilty, but they are really necessary.”;
At the end of last year, Oti took several weeks away to take part in I’m A Celebrity, finishing fourth.
She says: “That’s the thing that I loved about the jungle – you were in the middle of nowhere, there was no to-do list.
The response to I’m A Celeb was: ‘How could you leave your baby?'
Oti Mabuse
“There were no responsibilities except to cook the rice and beans, and start a fire. My mind felt so rested and really content. Real life is not like that.”;
However, she also experienced a huge backlash, as taking part in the ITV1 reality show meant being away from her daughter for three weeks.
“I definitely was judged,”; she sighs. “And there were so many fathers in there, too. There were loads [Danny Jones, Alan Halsall and Barry McGuigan are all dads].
“These people don’t know me or my relationship or my home situation. The response from everyone seemed to be, ‘How could you leave your baby?’
“We need to get to the point where we stop saying it’s just the mum with the child. It is OK for a dad to be with his daughter. My husband was so on board with it, he was happy.
Number one
“Also, I have to go to work. If I don’t, we don’t eat. Working does not take away from the fact I love my child, but she knows that Mummy goes to work and she goes to nursery. It’s good to teach her that she’s got to be a strong woman.
“I hope she looks up to me and sees that her mum works hard. She’s happy. She is my number one priority.”;
During her time in the jungle, Oti was also able to process the loss of her brother Neo.
She was only two when he died by suicide aged 16, and she opened up about his struggles while chatting to McFly’s Danny Jones about his mental health battles.
I had a lot of growth in the jungle. I never thought in a million years I’d go on the show and feel good about opening up
Oti Mabuse
Reflecting on that conversation, Oti says: “It was so unplanned, we just started chatting. I’m so interested in other people’s lives, I like to talk to people, but they were the first ones to have that conversation with me.
“I don’t like it when people talk about their struggles [on shows like that], as it feels planned.
“But when I talk about my brother, I’m doing it because it’s a real thing that stays with our family, even today. It’s just something that I want to talk about genuinely and have an open conversation about.
“I had a lot of growth in the jungle. I never thought in a million years I’d go on the show and feel good about opening up.
“I wouldn’t say it completely healed me, but how it just took the power that those things were holding over me. . . After that, the experience was amazing. I can talk about things now and I’m not so afraid.”;
Oti famously has an amazing relationship with her two sisters, Phemelo and Strictly judge Motsi, so has she considered adding to her family with a sibling for her daughter?
“Of course, that’s always something that we talk about,”; she says.
“I’m so close to both my sisters, and my husband is also really close to his brothers. But I grew up in South Africa, where we have to pay for schools, we have to pay for university.
I’m still very much in my South African mentality about children, as I want to give them the best life possible. My husband’s always asking me, ‘What does that look like for you?’
“I have to [remind myself that] some people don’t have money and they are the happiest! But I used to beg my mum for ice cream, and I don’t want them to have that kind of lifestyle.
“I would love to grow my family – but when? I don’t know. I want time to be pregnant and be there for the first year. And I want to have time for both children.”;
Meanwhile, Oti is learning to love her new body, which has changed significantly since giving birth.
I would love to grow my family – but when? I don’t know. I want time to be pregnant and be there for the first year. And I want to have time for both children
Oti Mabuse
She’s been hitting the gym for intense two-hour sessions, then doing three-hour dance classes to get herself ready for her upcoming dance stage show.
“My body has changed,”; she says. “I went to the gym two weeks ago, and I was like, ‘Wow, what is that feeling?’ For the first time in my life, I felt anxious and like I didn’t know what to do. I felt nervous, uncomfortable and out of place. It was quite overwhelming.
“I am at that starting point where I’m preparing for my Viva Carnival tour, and I’m training really hard. I haven’t toured in a while, so I want it to be incredible.
“I was listening to Beyoncétalking about preparing for her concerts, and she’s saying, ‘I cut carbs, I cut fish, I cut meat, I cut sugar, I cut alcohol. . .’ I couldn’t do that. This is why she is Beyoncé and I’m me,”; she laughs.
“But I do need to train hard and lift heavy, and get my stamina back.
“I’ve lost weight and I am noticing it now. Before I was a dancer and I would think, ‘It doesn’t matter, I’ll just cha cha cha.’
“But now I have to be rigid with my exercise plan. It’s hard work. It doesn’t happen easily for me. It’s not in my genetics.”;
Oti is also a self-confessed Pilates devotee.
“I have a little foldable bed at home that I can keep in the corner,”; she says.
“I am trying to do that twice a week, but it is so difficult. If my daughter is napping, I try to do it. I’m trying to rebuild my core. My pelvic floor has gone and my core strength isn’t what it used to be, but I’m working on it.”;
In order to help other women feel confident exercising, Oti has teamed up with Tu Clothing to release a second collection of her Reaktiv activewear range.
“If I’m feeling insecure, other women will be as well,”; she says. “I want to be able to help them feel good and be comfortable. I wanted this range to cater for all women, especially those who don’t always feel their best.
If there’s a Strictly All Stars and I’m dancing with Danny Mac again, sign me up!
Oti Mabuse
“I’ve got a differently shaped body, too and I wanted to cater to the more curvaceous woman.
“When Tu Clothing approached me, I said, ‘Not all of us want our midriffs out, but we want a tank top.’
“We did the bend-over test to check the leggings weren’t see-through! I wanted to make clothes that didn’t just feel right but were affordable too, so everything is under £50.”;
Being Strictly royalty, Oti clinched the Glitterball trophy twice before leaving the show in 2020, but with rumours of an All Stars version in the works, would she ever return to the dance floor?
“Everyone asks me that. I do love Danny Mac [her partner from the 2016 series].
“He is so amazing. If I am being honest with you – and this will probably blow up! – if it’s an All Stars and dancing with Danny Mac, then sign me up! That would be so much fun.
“But it’s been five years since I left Strictly. I am still very much involved – I talk to the whole team there.
“I still feel like part of the family, just behind the camera. Strictly has been an incredible platform, not just for me, but for so many other people. I will always be grateful for all it’s done for me.”;
- Oti Mabuse X Reaktiv by Tu Clothing is available from April at Tu.co.uk, Argos.co.uk and selected Sainsbury’s stores.
- Buy tickets for Viva Carnival at Lambertjackson.co.uk.
IN THE MAKE-UP CHAIR WITH OTI
Do you any skincare heroes?
I double cleanse with Dr Sturm, then I moisturise and use hyaluronic acid and vitamin C. I’m obsessed with Sol de Janerio products, too. My husband always steals them!
What are your make-up bag essentials?
Maybelline concealer, an eyeshadow and a mascara, as I’ve got such tiny eyelashes.
Any beauty hacks?
I put my gua sha in the freezer and it feels amazing.
What do you splurge on?
I love My Geisha perfumes. They smell divine.
Who is your celebrity beauty icon?
Lori Harvey is all about fitness and always looks stunning.
Describe your beauty evolution.
I used to wear sparkle and colour. Now, I think less is more. I just want glowy skin.
