I’m living a secret double life as a sex webcam girl making £2,500 a month… but one click could blow my world apart

AFTER losing her job, Pippa Jacobs, 50, from Manchester, started working as a webcam girl on an adult site.

But no one knows she’s doing it. Here she tells Julia Sidwell of her secret double life...

Cuddling in to my partner Adam while we watch a movie, I’m distracted by my phone lighting up.

When I see who it is, I nip to the toilet so I can read the message asking when I’ll next be online.

The sender says that if I don’t reply straight away, he will choose someone else to spend the night with.

Although I’m deeply in love with Adam, who I have been with for two-and-a-half years, I am hiding a secret that could shatter our relationship.

For the past five years, I have worked as a webcam girl, streaming explicit content live on the internet in exchange for money.

I keep this secret from everyone, telling them that I work in digital marketing — and that’s how I want it to stay.

I will never tell Adam, 48, who works in sales, because my job is not who I really am. By day, I’m actually quite shy.

And I’m much more comfortable in a floaty maxi dress than in low-cut tops or bodycon dresses.

But by night, I transform into a sexually confident and provocative cam girl, an expert at faking orgasms.

Adam stays over every Friday and Saturday and we enjoy long walks, watching movies and having gentle, intimate moments.

Our relationship is in stark contrast to the high-energy, often disturbing demands of my online job.

When Adam stays the night with me, we may or may not have sex, and if we do, it’s what some people may consider “boring”;.

To me, it’s beautiful, gentle sex with real emotions. I enjoy the plainness of it because I’m sick of all the different perversions at work. Making love to Adam is like medicine for my wounds.

I have to tell the men who fawn over me online that I’m horny for ten hours straight, when I couldn’t think of anything worse.

At 50, I’m not interested in one hour of sex. In fact, ten minutes is enough for me. Luckily, it seems to be enough for Adam, too.

But the fear of him discovering the truth weighs heavily. I keep my camming life hidden, knowing that if he ever found out, it could destroy everything.

After our two nights together, I’ll kiss him goodbye and watch him leave, feeling that familiar sense of relief and guilt wash over me. The quiet intimacy of our weekend is over, and my second life begins.

‘Full of sex toys'

First, I move my double bed to the corner of the room, where the lighting is better for filming. Then, I take a shower — I need to feel clean and fresh for my clients, ready for the performance ahead.

The drawer beside my bed is full of sex toys, essential tools for my job that I wash and prepare carefully each day.

Adam was surprised to find my collection one weekend and, in my panic, I told him they were from an ex.

He was accepting and technically it was true — my ex did enjoy using toys in the bedroom. Little does Adam know they’re put to use five nights a week.

During the daytime, I mostly chill out at home watching crime series or reading, and my laptop sits on the desk ready to host the four adult sites I work across.

When evening arrives, I take a deep breath, preparing myself to log in.

And as I start my shift, I can’t shake the fear of one day being caught out. On weekends, I hide my laptop and use a desktop computer for watching movies with Adam.

Even if I clear the history on my laptop, there’s always a lingering threat of tell-tale pop-ups.

One innocent click could blow my entire world apart.

The thought of him seeing an advert featuring his introverted girlfriend in all her naked glory makes my stomach churn. He would never look at me in the same way again.

The internet gives men a sense of anonymity that makes them feel they can express their darkest desires

Pippa

Once I’ve slipped into some simple lingerie and I’m sitting in front of my camera, I listen out for the sound of a cash register — a notification that a man wants me.

I flick from site to site, livestreaming to four clients at once, revealing my breasts and bum while sprawled across my bed.

I find the different types of men strangely fascinating. Most are aged around 20 to 60, but one regular is 72.

He doesn’t want sex, he just wants to chat for hours and likes the company.

Then there are the men craving a maternal figure. They pay me to tell them, “Mummy loves you”;. If I didn’t do it, I’d lose more than half my clients.

Men with a foot fetish make for a simple and enjoyable shift because posing with my feet to the camera is easy.

Then there are those who want to be humiliated and insulted, or are into bondage and want to be tortured, which I can’t bring myself to do. There is far, far worse, too.

The internet gives men a sense of anonymity that makes them feel they can express their darkest desires.

I’ve made the choice to avoid those extremes. I make around £2,500 per month, which is modest but enough to cover the rent on my flat with a little left over for indulgences like a trip to the spa — my much-needed escape.

The young women who fulfil these disturbing demands can earn my monthly wages in one night, but that’s their choice.

‘Taken its toll’

I never intended to become a cam girl but, when the pandemic hit, I lost my job in marketing and ended up caring for my terminally ill mother, leaving me with little income and even less self-esteem.

A friend suggested webcam work as a solution and, although I doubted anyone would be interested in a then 45-year-old woman who’d lost her curves, I soon learned that women of all shapes and sizes are adored online.

Compliments from clients, telling me I look much younger than my now 50 years, boost my confidence and keep me going.

The tragedy I’ve suffered in life has taken its toll on my mental health.

I lost my mother and brother in the past three years and struggled with severe depression, isolating myself for months.

The camming job, though far from ideal, provides a way for me to connect with others without having to meet them in person. It suits my introverted, anxious nature.

Just a day after my mum’s funeral, I was sitting in front of a webcam in sexy clothes, using toys, faking a good mood.

My heart was broken and my soul ached, but I needed money.

When I met Adam on a dating site in August 2022, after three years of being single, it felt like a fresh start. I had no intention of telling him what I do and, so far, it’s worked.

My lie hangs over me like a ticking time bomb

Pippa

But if we ever got married and moved in together — which, of course there is a chance of at some point, though I’m happy with the way things are for now — I’d have to find a way to keep my work a secret. And that scares me.

I can’t imagine ever giving it up now, because in a strange way it’s given me an inner confidence. And I only have to work three to four hours a night.

When Adam asks me how work was, I keep my answers generic and mostly truthful.

I tell him if I was busy, if I had any tricky clients, and that I’m exhausted from working nights because many of them are based in America.

Lying to Adam doesn’t come easily and if he ever discovered my job, I would be devastated, as it’s not who I truly am.

I constantly worry that one day Adam or a member of his family might see an advert for me.

I avoid introductions with his friends, too. Just in case one of them recognises me from online.

Even if he could forgive me, I’d struggle to look him in the eye. I’d have to vanish without explanation as I’d be ashamed of having done it behind his back.

Some may consider my work cheating, but I don’t. I’m not emotionally or physically involved with any of my clients.

They’re strangers on the other side of a screen, many of them too young, too demanding or just plain disturbing.

I don’t find them attractive and I don’t have feelings for them. To me, it’s just a way to pay the bills. But my lie hangs over me like a ticking time bomb.

One day I may have to choose between my job and my relationship. Until then, I will keep living this double life.

*Names have been changed.