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It’s been approximately nineteen seconds since the birth of KarBark (or it is BarkNey? BarkAshian?) and Travis Barker has already made the good decision to get Kourtney Kardashian’s name inked over his nipple knob area. I know, the real news here is that Travis actually found space on his body for another tattoo. “Yeah, and it just had to be over me. Fuck me,” said his nipple.
45-year-old Travis Barker and 41-year-old Kourtney Kardashian have been a thing since around January. And yesterday, Kourtney posted a picture of the piece of Travis Barker’s scribbled-on paper bag book cover of a body that has her name branded onto it. This picture might also be Kourtney’s way of dissing Khloe Kardashian’s laughable hyprocisy over that unfiltered picture of her getting out. Because notice how Kourtney didn’t Botox and filter the fuck out of her finger creases! That’s bravery!
Getting your girlfriend’s name tattooed on your body after you’ve been with her for five minutes is something a teenager would do. So maybe Travis did it because he knows Kourtney is into the youngins’ and this type of move would bring on the swoons? But the good news is that Travis’ Kourtney tattoo is some “Where’s Waldo?” shit on the field of tattoos covering his body:
Since potent narcissim runs through the veins of every Kartrashian, Kourtney was probably into it at first, but I don’t think that’s going to last long. The next time Kourtney rides Travis, she’s going to look down at his “Kourtney” tattoo and stop eating her salad (she’s always eating salad) to ask, “Traaaaavie, that ink better be organic, gluten-free, non-GMO, parabren-free, vegan, etc… etc..” And as Kourtney says that, her slumber party partner Addison Rae is going to roll over and put a pillow over her ears and silently curse at herself for selling her soul to Pimp Mama Kris for fame.