Kourtney Kardashian and Travis Barker must be feeling the heat and are trying to compete for attention with the recent reunion of Bennifer 1.0 because they are scrambling! Travis flooded Kourtney’s house with flowers for her birthday and Mother’s Day and now he’s flooding his own house with the scent of her orgasm. Never mind that a portal to a darker dimension has probably opened thanks to the unholy union of a Kardashian and Goop, but there’s no reason for that candle. If you’re the kind of sicko who wants to smell Kourtney’s orgasm, just sit next to her when she bites into a salad.
45-year-old Travis and 42-year-old Kourtney have been hamming it the fuck up like they’re co-stars of a YA novel movie and are pretending to date for the entire series’ press tour. Give it a rest! But they refuse. He’s already tattooed her name on him and I guess once you have a Kardashian branded on you like that the Devil controls your need for attention and cranks it up and then rips the knob off.
Travis must have contacted Goop and ordered a kustom Kardashian-ified version of their This Smells Like My Vagina candle, and he decided to gross out the world by sharing it:
Wouldn’t it have made more sense to call the candle: “This Smells Like Kourtney’s Poosh?” Kourtney reposted the candle because, duh attention is a chain-letter effect:
I mean, why just get a Kourtney Kardashian-brand orgasm candle? Level it up! Get a whole replica of her vagina made and sleep on it at night with a caption like: “No caption needed,” and it’s a picture of Travis sleeping next to a silicone vagina.
I wonder if this is a special one-time batch of candles or like a new product available to others? Maybe Addison Rae should get one since she and Kourtney so strangely close. Who doesn’t want to smell their much older bestie’s orgasm?
